What do you want to be?

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– Nishta Chakravorty

Such a cruel world we are born in, that even before our inception dreams are knitted for us as to when and how and what we are supposed to be. It doesn’t take long for parents to decide a fate for their progeny. Some kids are lucky enough to have a say in this decision and some are just stuck with a vision which was not theirs and a dream which they didn’t dream of.

Back in kindergarten, I used to think that I would become a doctor. I believe just like me all the other tiny tots have dreams and aspirations. Have we ever thought about the thought that goes into the etching of these dreams? I never questioned my dreams because I had this unfathomable spirit that no matter what, I would become a doctor. I would wear my white coat and hang a stethoscope around my neck and go save the world! I was unbridled by the reality of the world and how tables could turn with a blink of an eye. I never knew the reason behind me trying to be a doctor. I didn’t know my ultimate goal. All I knew was that I’m a 6 year old who is trying to find something with this dream. She’s trying to turn some unturned stone.

Now, when I’m in my twenties nothing really has changed except for one thing. Life happened! This happens with all of us. We’re all good and hopeful until one fine day life knocks at your door and then kicks you hard! I’m nowhere near to being a doctor, but wait it doesn’t end or start here. I’m not writing yet another story of a failed dream here. What I’m trying to say is I’m exactly where I wanted to be. Not a doctor but yes, I’ve chosen a path that I stumbled upon accidently and I’m glad that I did. Then what is all the hullabaloo about? Why am I not “in that zone?”

Why we aren’t still there even after all the work, sweat, blood, tears, failures, and success? Why aren’t we done with it all and have not reached Zen? Where did we go wrong while treading the obvious paths created by the society? Ask an 8 year old and you will get an answer even before you’ll finish your query. It’s because we stopped living for the vital things in life like joy, happiness, ecstasy and started living for money, fame, and some more money.

What we really wanted to be by being a doctor, teacher, lawyer etc. in the first place was being happy. But, sadly amidst the entire ruckus called life, we paused and just fast forwarded the whole thing and in the process of doing it we lost that sheen in our eyes and the hope in our hearts. We became nothing less than zombies who could smile and hide what’s inside. We stopped ourselves from being happy.

What’s lost can be found back again. Don’t lose the happy cell. Let it grow into a tissue, then an organ and then finally into an organ system. Find the little joys in life and dream about being happy and not about something that you think would make you happy. Just dream and work towards being happy. If sitting on a couch at 4 AM watching trashy T.V. makes you happy then do it! If working your ass off at the office makes you happy then slog all the way. If food makes you happy then eat all that you want. Because, all that you need is this small thing and although it sounds small but it is the ultimate goal and all that we have been doing all our lives were just driving forces to reach this goal.

So, next time when you plan a future or a dream for your kid or if they ask you that, “what should I be?” Just say, I want you to be happy and you will see how their tiny eyes will light up and their crooked teeth would turn into big smiles.

 

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