-Sakshi Sharma
Imagine a twenty-two year old girl, in a typical Indian setting, about to graduate as a Computer Science Engineer, with an average job in hand (on top of it, she took a drop after class XII so she could get into an eminent college, but she couldn’t). This girl dragged herself through college, suffocating amidst a class of three hundred budding engineers, satire that professors brought her way and expectations from the family. She took a deep breath, every once in a while, channeling through creativity and a few like-minded people she came across; a deep-breath to provide her with enough oxygen to keep her heart beating through it all. “Grow through, what you go through”, she would often tell herself. She would beat herself up with the anticipation of her survival prospects in the corporate industry and end up coming up with a new escape plan, every time. These ideas gave her the hope and strength to keep looking forward to what might come her way.
After four years of struggle, when she finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel, she started moving ahead at a faster pace. Amongst the ideas of her escape plans, one was that of travelling to a new place, to unwind and to lie back for a while, to let it loose a bit. After all, she was amongst the ones who envisioned themselves, out in the world by themselves, while reading Elizabeth Gilbert’s memoir, “Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman’s Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia”. The woman travels solo. So taking the charge of her life, like the heroine of her life did, she packed her clothes and decided to travel to Goa, all the way from a small town in Rajasthan. Afraid, intimidated and with a lot of hope, she could finally see one of her escape plans, in execution. She was leaving the social condition and unreasonable expectation, imposed on her, behind, one mile at a time. Far from the madding crowd, she could finally feel the wild wind ruffling her hair. She did not have to struggle with the oxygen supply in her system, anymore.
She now had beach sand under her feet, which soothed her skin, unlike the hot desert sand. Every once in a while, the mighty sea would come running towards her and touch her feet and on some days she would step further into it to wash away the worries of her past life that had been burdening her unnecessarily. She returned with a heavier backpack but a much lighter heart. The wind across her face was strong enough to break her mind out of the cage. The conversations with the horizon were mostly about her aspirations and she felt heard. The sea understood her choices and did not judge her for them. She found the acceptance she wanted from her peers and family. And now that she had it, she was ready to return, reinvented. And she did!
I am that girl. But someday, it could be about you. And if factors like social conditioning, your parents’ unfulfilled dreams which they have been imposing on you (in the name of expectations), the rat race you have unknowingly become a part of, your own fears or anything else has been holding you back, know that you can always make a choice to step out of it. This might take a lot of courage, strength and letting go, but it is the one of the best ways to stop merely existing and start living for a change. I took accommodation at a backpacker’s hostel in Goa and went there during off-season. And from a place where I, most of the times, had to move in restricted lines, I had now come to a place where I was running across stranded beaches all by myself. Sure, it comes with a lot of challenges, but these challenges are worth fighting for and winning. These challenges are more meaningful and add value and wisdom to your life. You can feel self-growth pumping into your veins when your heart throbs every time you try something for the first time – running at a beach, riding a two-wheeler across unfamiliar lanes, wearing clothes you weren’t comfortable wearing back home, sharing your story with the new people you meet (some of whom gradually turn into friends) and the mere observation and realization of the fact that there is so much more to life than “settling” or building a “secure future”. Its only when you see yourself as an individual first, you would be equipped to add value to your family and the “mighty society”. For once, instead of staring at your own self through the lens of your phone’s front camera, try to look through the mirror at the person you aspire to be and you never know when your reflection might just smile back at you.
As for her, she came back, with a better connection with her inner self, this time not with an escape plan, but with one to build and conquer her own world. She figured she did not want a life she had to either drag through or keep running from, but one through which she could walk, swim and fly peacefully, think through peacefully and above that, shape up her reality in sync with her thoughts. She did not want to lead multiple lives where she had to keep everyone around her happy but the one she could be happy in. This time she had realized that it is easy to mould in accordance with the world that is already out there in action but it is so much more thrilling and fulfilling to build one up for your own.
